I throw a blanket over my laptop and say “baby, I think someone just knocked on the door.”
My boyfriend jumps up from the floor next to the bed where he was sitting and goes to the door, opens it. I can see only the outline of this guy because of the way my boyfriend opened the door, but I recognized him as the crystal meth dealer that introduced himself to my boyfriend a few days ago.
Meth dealer: “Sup man, I’m looking for uh that one lady, the crazy white lady?”
Boyfriend: “Oh, she moved to room 10.”
What has my life come to?
- Stage 1: writing like a formal essay. All grammar mistakes must be eliminated.
- Stage 2: capitalization can occasionally be forgotten, mistakes can pass without self-drama.
- Stage 3: when texting will sometimes use texting lingo like lol and smileys.
- Stage 4: type so fast you don't notice mistakes.
- Stage 5: all caps or no caps, what is English, only your partner can understand the secret code.
- ASHHH we're totes at stage 5 woooot
subway??? no man this is domway. we tell you how you want your sandwich and u shut up and eat it.
i feel like tall people at concerts have everything they want in the world
if you think i’m not gonna take a nap because i woke up at noon
you’re dead wrong
if someone says they dont want to be touched
- dont touch them
- dont fucking touch them
- actually dont touch them
- dont continue to fucking touch them after they make it clear they are uncomfortable
- THIS ISNT FUCKING HARD DONT FUCKING TOUCH THEM
also dont continue touching them bc you think their reaction is cute